Fidelity

It's okay. The Chief has broken up with his girlfriend. Which is no small thing, as I believe he has been going out with her for four years. The last time he had troubles, Alias asked him if he truly loved her despite the problems. The Chief said yes. Alias told him to stick with her and The Chief duly followed his sage advice. Until now.

Only, I want to establish whether The Bear was instrumental in the break-up or whether she was a bit player until after the break-up. STILL none of my business...

However, we were talking about infidelity at writers group yesterday and discussing the interesting nature of the way people try to justify it. I think we all know someone who has been in a situation and the excuses that they dream up to justify their behaviour is intriguing to say the least. ("But we were meant to be!" is just one refrain).

I'm not a fan of infidelity. To me, it reeks of an inability to communicate. For me, that is already the death of a relationship. To define the term in my own words, I believe infidelity is a relationship or relational experience that one partner believes s/he has to conceal from the other during an exclusive partnership. This means that swinging couples, open relationships and people who are just dating around (or booty calling) rightfully fall outside the definition.

Further to that, who is to say that someone who is willing to cheat on someone to be with you won't cheat on you to be with someone else? I think that's a fair point. Not to say that infidels are infidels forever, but it's something to think about. The other thing to think about is that it takes two to commit infidelity - it is not wholly the fault of the other wo/man but a shared responsibility.

Okay, rant over. Now I have that Regina Spektor song in my head...