20 February, 2009

Lightbulb moments

Welcome to the world of publishing. Unfortunately this is pretty much representative of how it works...

Q: How many sub-editors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: We can't tell whether you mean "insert a new lightbulb" or "have sexual relations inside a lightbulb". Can we reword it to remove ambiguity?

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?

Q: How many proof readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The last time this was asked it involved Art Directors. Is the difference intentional? It seems inconsistent.

Q: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why do we have to change it?

Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!

Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It isn't too late to make it neon, is it?

Q: How many advertising directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We're not sure because the client might change it tomorrow. Cut some editorial anyway.

Q: How many sales directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (pause) I get it! It's one of those lightbulb jokes, right?

15 February, 2009

Leonard Cohen (gigs)


Leonard Cohen
Sydney Entertainment Centre, Sydney (28th, 29th January, 2009)

Australian troubadour Paul Kelly accompanied by his nephew Dan Kelly (formerly of Dan Kelly and The Alpha Males) opened the show for the bard, and while Kelly's songs don't quite have the guile of Cohen's, it's easy to see how their folk roots have parallels. Kelly delivered an engaging set, one that creates modern history as he sings, which was a suitable introduction to the Leonard Cohen mood.

The last time Leonard Cohen toured Australia I didn't even know my alphabet, let alone the mark of a great poem, so it was with great pleasure that I attended both of his Sydney shows - and with some luck I hope to attend more on subsequent tours.

Leonard has an unfair reputation for producing dark music with suicidal overtones, but I actually find that a lot of what he does has an element of fantasy to it, which holds a mirror up to some really big issues in society. Creating mirrors is what great art does, so it's no wonder that all he had to do was appear on stage to receive a standing ovation from the crowd.

Cohen and his performing band, Unified Heart, are a sophisticated lot. They have the slickness of professionals with the warmth of a cabaret band that belied the vast Sydney Entertainment Centre auditorium. And let's not forget they were all decked out in dark suits. The bard himself spent the first three songs alternately kneeling on the large red decorated rug and honouring his virtuoso guitarist Javier Mas and standing with his eyes closed, facing the audience.

There was a particularly brand of humility and sincerity that I was interested in. The spotlight seemed to anoint him, the songs were killer hits and yet he seemed genuinely touched that the audience applauded them so, in thunderous cascades. He removed his hat after each number, nodding his acknowledgement to the crowd and to the support Unified Heart afforded him.

I was a little disappointed with 'Everybody Knows', one of my favourite Cohen songs, as it was performed rather haltingly in spoken word style over a marching rhythm rather than echoing the recorded version - the vocals expressing deadpan resignation over a futuristic synth beat - but 'Who by Fire' was a surprise highlight of the first set. I've never really cared much for the song, but it began with a riveting guitar introduction by Javier Mas and then transcended into something akin to a gypsy-infused performance-long question.

Despite a few laughs, such as in 'Chelsea Hotel No. 2' - "you told me again you preferred handsome men, but for me you would make an exception" - Cohen didn't address the audience until after 'Hey, that's no way to say goodbye'. It went something like: "It's been 15 years since I've been on the road. Back then at 60, I was just a kid with a crazy dream..." The first half ended with a striking, extended 'Anthem', introducing each member of Unified Heart, my second pick of the first set.

The man sitting next to me on the first night described Leonard as looking like "a Galapagos tortoise" and I could see his point. The ancient bard with his weathered face and saddened eyes peered into the spotlight imploring and wise, later undercut by an anecdote he shared to head the second half: "One day I was drinking with my [Buddhist] teacher. He was about 95 at the time. He leaned over and said 'excuse me for not dying' - I know what he means."

With that he launched into 'Tower of Song' playing a dinky keyboard with one hand and with plenty of irony for his "golden voice". 'Boogie Street' was performed by prime collaborator Sharon Robinson in cabaret style while 'Hallelujiah' was suitably reverent, built like it was meant to be built, stanza by stanza until the emotion spilled out in crescendo on the later choruses. But there was no stopping him, popular song and thunderous song or not, he launched straight into 'I'm your man', another song I never cared too much for - but which blew me away with what? Sincerity?

I tell you, it was like he was writing the song there and then, giving birth to it fully formed with all the bones, the emotion and inspiration for it, audible for all to hear. This was followed closely by another naked rendition, this time 'A thousand kisses deep' performed, heartbreakingly, in spoken word.

The encore was more upbeat, with more vigorous vocal stylings, particularly as it began with 'So long Marianne' and 'First we take Manhattan', both songs which could be construed as calls to action. He then contrasted these with a sombre 'Famous Blue Raincoat' which eased the animation of the first two songs.

He was barely gone before skipping back for a second encore, opening the way for 'If it be your will' with a spoken word introduction, which was then exquisitely sung by the Webb sisters, part of Unified Heart. He then rounded off with a knees-up - 'Democracy' (first night) / 'Closing time' (second night).

Ovations were abundant so it was with tongue firmly in cheek that the last encore began with 'I tried to leave you' and a touching all-company send off to the tune of 'Wither thou goest'.

============
Set list:
Dance me to the end of love
The Future
Ain't no cure for love
Bird on a wire
Everybody knows
In my secret life
Who by fire
Death of a ladies man *
Chelsea Hotel No. 2
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye
Sisters of mercy **
Anthem
~~~
Tower of song
Suzanne
Gypsy wife
The partisan
Boogie street
Hallelujiah
I'm your man
A thousand kisses deep
This waltz
~~~
So long Marianne
First we take Manhattan
Famous blue raincoat
~~~
If it be your will
Democracy *
Closing time **
~~~
I tried to leave you
Wither thou goest *

* First show only
** Second show only

A few points to note:
* 'careless sex' replaced 'anal sex' in the lyrics for The Future
* 'mighty heart' replaced 'sacred heart' in the lyrics for Everybody Knows
* 'you' replaced every 'ya' in the lyrics for Hallelujiah
* 'I didn't come all the way to Sydney to fool you' - Hallelujiah

============

It's hard to top a standing ovation before a note has been played but Leonard Cohen and Unified Heart did it with a very classy show and some really deep performances that drew out the essence of the songs and launched them over the 12,000-strong audience.

It was a well-balanced show, a mix of old and new pieces, the bass-baritone of the bard against the angelic harmonies of Sharon and the Webb sisters, the stark lyrics and proud musicality of the band and the humorous touches encased within the transcendental truths of the songs. Loved it. Will be hard for anyone to top performances like these.

Gig rating: 9/10
Enjoyment rating: 10/10