29 September, 2009

iSnack 2.0: The unfortunate story of Vegecreme

A couple of months ago my mother gave me a jar of the new Vegemite cream cheese hybrid, which I christened Vegecreme. I don't like cream cheese at the best of times (except maybe sandwiched between two lattice biscuits...) but I took it because I'd just run out of Vegemite and I thought it would serve me until I could get another jar.

The next day I immediately went out and bought a large jar of Vegemite. Vegecreme sucks. I mean, if you want Vegemite and cream cheese, go out and buy a fucking jar of Vegemite and a fucking tub of cream cheese and combine them yourself you lazy fucker.

A jar of Vegemite is useful on its own. You can have Vegemite on toast. You can make my favourite toastie (multigrain bread, Vegemite, avocado and cheese). A tub of cream cheese is useful on its own. You can blend it with sugar and lemon and sandwich the chilled results between two lattice biscuits. Together in the one jar it becomes a very poor substitute for Vegemite or salty cream cheese that you can't make into a popular dessert.

So anyway. Kraft ran a competition to name the new product. The name that won? iSnack 2.0. I thought it was a joke or some kind of Twitter mistake, but no, Vegecreme is officially Kraft iSnack 2.0.

There are three main reactions I've gauged thus far:
1) Surely Apple will sue.
2) The name's a piece of crap and the product is a piece of crap.
3) This is a marketing stunt right?

Well...
1) No, Apple doesn't own the 'i' prefix (think iRiver), and certainly not for food products in Australia.
2) Yes, the name doesn't really represent the product. I think it's trying to be clever ('I snack too') but it will date very quickly. And yes, as you've surmised, I think the product is a piece of crap.
3) Yet to be seen. Most people who think it's a marketing stunt are saying things like 'the name's so bad this can only be a marketing stunt'. There's no doubt that the announcement of the name has generated huge amounts of publicity with even The Guardian picking it up. It was a trending topic on Twitter at one point, too.

However, large amounts of publicity does not mean large amounts of sales and I don't see all this hype representing much financial benefit to Kraft. In fact, there has been a huge backlash with negative views on Vegecreme (such as this one!) being written and read that never would have seen the light of day had it not been for the publicity about the name.

So, #vegefail?

There have been upsides to the hype, though. My favourite was the call made by Twitterer @allanmoran: I wonder if iSnack spreads easily on a Rick-Roll :P #vegefail

...but also this gem:

20 September, 2009

And the monkey dances

I once had a friend (actually, I'll call her a frenemy because that's what she turned out to be) who used to enter heaps of competitions and win a lot of prizes. Her strike rate was exceptional, and I later found out why.

The rules and regulations of competitions in Australia insist that if the draw is of a random nature, that the entity running the competition has to apply for a permit in each of the states where the competition is run.

A permit doesn't cost that much, but the process that you have to go through to get one is paperwork heavy, and can take a few weeks. I know this because I once worked for a magazine that ran competitions and I was the dogsbody who had to apply for the permits.

Anyway, the alternative is the free method of running a competition where the entrants compete on skill. A skill-based competition merely needs someone to judge the entry on a basis clearly defined upon entry. Mostly this takes the form of the '25 words or less' creative entry. There are, however, problems with this.

This afternoon I entered a competition to see a film screening of 'Mao's Last Dancer' based on the fascinating story of Li Cunxin, who trained under Madam Mao's ballet school and then while in the USA, defected from China. Li enjoyed a career as a ballet dancer in the USA and Australia, and now lives in Melbourne as a stockbroker. I saw him speak at the Sydney Writer's Festival a couple of years ago and he was quite moving.

The competition, run by Event (formerly Greater Union) cinemas, instructed entrants to, Tell us in 25 words or less why you want to see Mao's Last Dancer, with a text box ready for entries. Below that was the competition basis: All 25 word or less entries will be judged, and the prize/s will be awarded based on the creativity of the answers.

I don't know about you, but it is very difficult to make a reason you want to see a film 'creative'. I want to see the film because I think his story is fascinating and insightful and says a lot about China; a different China to the economic enthusiasm being celebrated worldwide at present.

The 'creativity' basis thus poses a problem. My frenemy revealed to me that she always used rhyming poetry to convey 'creativity'. I was disgusted, and you'll know why if you know my views on poetry, what it is and what it is not. And yet thess rhyme wins prevail. I have won more '25 words or less' competitions with bad rhymes than I have any other way.

(Although there was that glorious time I won tickets to see 'Adaptation' by making a joke about Nicolas Cage 'Being John Travolta' in 'Face/Off', thus also referencing Charlie Kaufman's previous film 'Being John Malkovich') (P.S: When I won the tickets, my frenemy took credit, noting: 'Some of my luck must have rubbed off on you' despite the fact it was a game of SKILL. MY. SKILL.)

So instead of conveying my appreciation for Li's insights to China in a concise, intellectual fashion, monkey-see monkey-do I ended up submitting:

"Economically, China sets the world alight
But Cunxin writes of creative flight
From the nation's poor reality
His life a book and now movie."

Note the embarassingly poor rhyme of 'reality' with 'movie'. And I did this because I thought it would be more likely to get me the tickets than my original 'reason', which was pretty much centred on my admiration of Li and his story.

I want to see a '25 words or less' competition that makes sense. Instead of based on 'creativity', I want Tell us in 25 words or less why you want to see Mao's Last Dancer, with the competition basis being: The prize/s will be awarded based on the best reason.

P.S: I'll let you know whether I get the tickets.

P.P.S: A competition: In the comments section below, tell me in 25 words or less why this entry is wonderful. The prize is my admiration and it will be awarded on the basis of how much I like your entry.