There should be a crime against the misuse of the sign-off "cheers". Evil librarian, currently the black hole of my previously unabated optimism, signs her emails "Cheers -------" (name removed to prevent plants wilting and children crying). Trust me, there is NO cheer when you receive an email from this woman. It is like all the joy is sucked out of the atmosphere in one inhalation.
Thus I believe that signing off with "cheers", when the opposite is the case, is a societal felony. The punishment for this should be the offender's immediate removal from existence and, if possible, from history and the universe in general. That is all.
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