20 June, 2011

#19: Favourite movie villain?

Dr Evil! "I didn't go to evil medical school for six years just to be called MISTER, thank you very much!"

There's so much I love about Dr Evil. His incompetence. The fact that he is a collage of so many other villains from spy movies but created to show how absurd they are. Read the following:

Dr Evil reveals his strange background. All villains must be strange and unloved. Most often foreign, too.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanise, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds—pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking—I highly suggest you try it.


Here are a few quotes that show the stupidity of the villain's interaction with the hero, particularly with regard to killing him.

Dr Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

Dr Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.

Dr Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
[guard starts dipping mechanism]
Dr Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?

Now I'm killing myself laughing here.

All right, you want a real villain? Bill from Kill Bill. How could he do that to her? Bastard!

And You-Know-Who. Voldy from the Harry Potter series. Ralph Fiennes plays him well. Actually in some ways I think Dolores Umbridge (played by Imelda Staunton) is more evil because she's known a better life and had a better upbringing and yet is fully behind Voldy's evil plan for domination. She's so *shudder* spiteful. Voldy, when he was Tom, was brought up an orphan and never knew love. Sad, ain't it?

Day 20 - Favourite movie adaptation (from book, play, musical, graphic novel etc)?
Day 21 - Favourite movie quote?
Day 22 - Favourite documentary?
Day 23 - Favourite director?
Day 24 - Favourite sequel?
Day 25 - Favourite movie franchise/series?
Day 26 - Popcorn?
Day 27 - Total number of films you own on DVD and video.
Day 28 - Last film you bought.
Day 29 - Last film you watched.
Day 30 - Five films that mean a lot to you.

Twenty-one categories of this meme are from Books and Movies and Wordsmithsonia. The rest of the categories are my own creation.

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