Diet

Things I ate this week that I shouldn't have:

• (Wednesday) Packet of cheap Aldi fruit jellies that were supposed to be sour but weren't;


• (Friday) Dodgy felafel roll prepared by a man who didn't wear gloves and didn't wash his hands prior to preparation accompanied by an ancient sitting-in-the-counter-window-all-day Greek salad;


• (Saturday) Bowl of strawberries and cream, having already eaten two pancakes layered with strawberries and cream;


• (Sunday) 700ml of Cottee's Instant Vanilla Pudding made with Coles Lite Milk, which had a use by date of 25/09. It smelled okay. It was the only way I could think to finish the milk;


• (Sunday) Five slices of thick-cut raisin toast slathered in butter. I had to finish the loaf.