About three months ago I dropped an ironing board on my toe. The big toe on my left foot. It was only a little tabletop ironing board from Ikea but it hurt a LOT. I'm surprised I didn't blog about it, considering how much I hate ironing and how that incident might have strengthened my case against ironing. I only do it three or four times a year but I will complain about it loudly for an entire day beforehand.
Anyway.
After swearing profusely and conducting the Ice Compression Elevation technique by hopping ungraciously to the freezer to get a cold pack before propping my foot up for a good 20 minutes (procrastinating as I sat gazing defiantly at the inevitable pile of crumpled clothes), I developed what felt like a bruised toe.
About a week later my nail started to go green. This was cause for alarm and I was very close to going to see a doctor about it but then I looked it up online and apparently bruises do go green and bruises under nails are generally nothing to worry about. So I didn't worry about it. Except that time when I had to go to a dinner event and I had to wear classy shoes so I painted my toenails red.
Which brings me to today's news, which is that the affected area is now black but, even worse, it has started to chip off. This means that I have a FUCKING HOLE in my toenail. It's just gross. And I won't be able to get rid of it until my nail grows out, which could be YEARS. I can't even paint nail polish over it to hide it while I wear sandals all summer. It'll get infected and I'll need to have my toe amputated...
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!
2 comments:
That reminds me of a friend of mine who stuck his hand in a fan. It ripped the fingernail from his thumb off.
Sometimes you learn lessons the hard way...
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