A couple of months ago I mentioned my tendency to dream about trains when I am troubled. In that entry I also mentioned a situation involving a (formerly good) friend of mine with regard to a lack of notification re: her wedding. Look, with everything compounding itself at the moment I hardly have time for people who don't have time for me. That's just the way it is.
But my subconscious believes otherwise, for without warning I've begun to dream about her. I've dreamt about her explaining the wherefores to me and everything being okay, even though the dream never ends with us reconciling as friends. I have dreamt about her explanation so many times that sometimes, in a moment of confusion just after I wake up, I believe the issue to be resolved and acceptable, even though I haven't touched it since I learnt of the snub. All this tells me is that I should say something or write something to her - but I cannot seem to identify this as my initiative. And the timing is all wrong, it's busy, it's festive - the last thing I want is to let my social problem ambush someone else's mailbox.
I've mellowed, methinks. Where's the fire, doc? And yet I'm strong enough now to let it eat at me for another month. Just another month. And then I'll tell her.
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